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The first alarm was enough to stir me from the comfort of sleep and back into the realm of consciousness. The second was just annoying.
I groaned and gave Kat a nudge. She didn’t budge – just flailed an arm until her hand landed on her phone and the noise stopped, all without so much as cracking an eyelid. Seemingly satisfied with her half-effort, she rolled over and wrapped her arms around my body. The warmth was nice, especially with the cool air of fall trickling in the window she insisted on leaving open overnight, but someone had to be the responsible one in the relationship.
“Don’t you have to leave soon?” I grumbled, sleep having not yet left my body.
“Soon is relative. Besides, I’m comfortable.”
The third alarm – well, that was non-negotiable. I sighed, rolled onto my back and out of her grasp, and forcefully pushed her out of bed.
She landed on the floor with a soft thud, followed by a dramatic groan. “Rude,” she mumbled from the rug, her voice laced with sleepy indignation, “And uncalled for.”
I didn’t move. Just smirked and pulled the blanket tighter around me. “Uncalled for? You made me sit through three alarms when I could’ve slept in. If anything, this is me going easy on you.”
From my vantage point, I watched her push herself up slowly, like she was rising from a grave. Her hair stuck out in five directions, and her makeup from the previous night was smeared around her eyes. Still, she somehow managed to look unfairly endearing. “I’m so tired,” she announced, stating the obvious, a long yawn following.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have been up so late partying at a fetish club. If only someone had warned you. Oh wait-“
Circling the bed, Kat came to my side, bending over so that her face was close to mine. She said nothing, initially, just stared at me with her big, cute eyes, a faint smile tugging at her lips. I could still smell her perfume from last night, though I could also tell that she hadn’t showered since.
“Maybe I was trying to let my girlfriend enjoy something special, even if I knew I was going to regret it the next day.”
The way she called me her girlfriend – the way she looked at me – I could feel a warmth growing in my chest. Every time she did it, it felt like the first. It felt wrong sometimes, like she was supposed to be talking to someone else. But to know it was me, that I was the one she wanted to be with, was an indescribable feeling.
The compulsion to kiss her was too strong, and I leaned forward before I could second-guess it, closing the small distance between us. Our lips met softly at first, then with a slow-building urgency that made my pulse quicken. She let out a quiet sigh against my mouth, her fingers brushing the side of my face with a tenderness that made me feel like the rest of the world had dissolved into background noise.
“I don’t have time for this either, you know,” she whispered as she pulled back, her eyes lingering on me still.
“But this is better.”
“Interesting how you’re fine with me being late when it benefits you,” she grinned.
Still wrapped in the blankets, I watched as she stood, unable to ignore the hint of uncertainty on her face as she chose between me and getting ready. Ultimately, ever the responsible one, she made the right decision and turned her attention towards the half-packed suitcase lying open on the ground, clothes strewn wildly around it.
“I really wish I had finished packing this yesterday.”
From the bed, I watched Kat dig through the mess, extracting a pair of definitely not work-appropriate shorts and tossing them aside. “It probably would’ve been smarter to start sober, too.”
“I wasn’t drunk,” she retorted, her back still turned to me. “I’m Spanish; it would take way more than that.”
“Didn’t know being Spanish made you immune to rum and cokes.”
“Not what a Dark and Stormy is. And stop distracting me, I’m already on a tight schedule here.”
Whether intentional or not, it seemed I had headed her suggestion as I awoke some time later, having dozed off unknowingly. Her suitcase was now closed and by the bedroom door, and I could tell by the slight humidity in the air and the smell of rosemary that she had taken a shower.
Rolling over, I found Kat standing in front of her vanity, her hair wrapped in a towel, but otherwise nude. I couldn’t help but appreciate the soft shine on her still slightly damp skin and the warm glow on her body from the morning sun.
“I can feel you staring at me,” she stated, matter-of-factly.
“Is that bad?” I propped myself up on one elbow, the sheet slipping down to my waist, baring my chest for her to see. But my attempt at flirting fell flat – Kat gave me only a glance before refocusing on her mascara, steadying her hand as she swept the tiny brush upward with practiced precision.
“I see what you’re doing,” she said, voice calm, tone neutral – hardly the reaction I’d been hoping for. “It’s not going to work.”
I let out a casibom soft scoff. It was maddening how composed she always seemed. And even though I’d started it, even though it was just playful teasing, I felt the pressure anyway. Not real pressure – Kat would never judge me, never make me feel small over our frankly glaring difference in experience. But still, there was that voice in the back of my mind whispering I was trying too hard. That this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
Despite her protest, I continued watching her, watching as she moved on to her other eye, graceful as ever. I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to. There was something both intimate and distant about seeing her like this – so close but so indescribably different from me. She was an adult; she had a job and responsibilities. She couldn’t lounge in bed with me as much as I wanted her to.
“You ever get tired of being unshakeable?” I asked before I could stop myself.
She paused, meeting my eyes in the mirror. For a second, something flickered there – pity, maybe. Or recognition. Then it was gone.
“I’m not unshakeable,” she said, unwrapping the towel from her head. Shaking out her hair, she let it fall in damp waves around her shoulders while reaching for her hairdryer. “I just don’t see the point in making things harder than they have to be.”
“I wish it were that easy,” I muttered.
She turned on the dryer, drowning out any chance of reply, and I leaned back into the pillows, wondering if she’d heard me. She probably had. Kat missed very little. When the sound quieted a few minutes later, I found myself drifting back to the edge of sleep, my eyes only staying open when I forced them to.
“How long are you going to be gone again?”
“Just three days. Well,” she caught herself, “I guess four. I’ll be back on Thursday, but the flight lands early in the morning.”
I already knew that, of course, but I just wanted to talk to her, to fill the dead air before she’d leave and I’d be unable to. An unfortunate reality of our relationship was the frequency of Kat’s work trips – something that had been steadily increasing as of late. She explained to me why, but it was hardly within my understanding. Something about a new operating system.
The days when she was gone were always the hardest. Just me, alone with my thoughts in my apartment. It made me feel more like her dog than her girlfriend sometimes, desperately waiting for her to come home. Although maybe that was normal in a healthy relationship, I hardly had a point of reference. Any chance I got away from Dave felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. If only I had seen it at the time.
“Going with anyone?” I asked, trying to keep my mind occupied on other matters.
“On my flight, no, but a few other people are flying down, and we’re all supposed to meet at the airport. Just the regular people and some upper management.”
I yawned, my body fighting me. Any other day, I would welcome sleep, but today – this morning – was the last time I could talk to Kat until Thursday. I wanted to stay awake just for that, even if the conversation meant nothing. “Upper management? Sounds like fun.”
Kat turned to look at me, something cautious in her expression, like she was trying to read what I wasn’t saying. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m choosing it over you,” she said softly.
I shrugged, but my words came out sharper than I meant. “I never said you were.”
“No, but…” she trailed off, then crossed the room back to the bed and sat beside me. “You get… weird before I leave. Every time. Sorry, not like weird,” she caught herself, afraid that she had hurt my feelings. “Just, I don’t know, distant.”
The silence that followed was deafening. It surrounded us both, an uncomfortable reminder that she was right. I opened my mouth, then closed it. There were a hundred things I could say – most of them small and messy and not quite right.
“What? You were going to say something.”
“Nothing important.”
“No, seriously. What is it?”
“I don’t know how- it’s- You’re an adult with a job,” I finally managed, words tumbling out before I could decide if they were the right ones. “You have this whole life, and you’re good at it. And then you leave for a work trip, and it reminds me that I don’t really have anything other than you.”
Kat was quiet. Not in that withholding kind of way – just thoughtful. Her eyes searched mine, waiting for me to finish my thought.
“Our relationship didn’t start in the healthiest way, and now I worry that I’m so codependent that I couldn’t live my life without you. It’s like I’m always a few steps behind, just trying not to get in your way.”
“You’re not behind,” she said softly. “And you’re definitely not in the way.”
I nodded, but it was the kind of nod that didn’t mean much. The kind you give when someone says something kind and you don’t want to argue, even if part of you Casibom slot oyunları still isn’t convinced.
Kat shifted, lifting one leg and swinging it over me until she was straddling my waist. She leaned in slowly, her face hovering just above mine, and I caught the soft scent of her freshly washed hair. Even through the covers, I could feel the heat of her body, her warmth.
My heart pounded in my chest as she brushed her hand against my cheek in that gentle way she did when she knew I was slipping too far into my own head. “Do you want to know what I think about when I’m on those trips?” she asked.
I only looked at her, my words lost in my throat.
“I think about this bed,” she said. “I think about how warm it feels with you in it. I think about how you always hog the blanket and take your socks off in the middle of the night when your feet get too hot.” She smiled a little, and her fingers found mine under the covers. “And I count the days until I can come home.”
“A bit sappy, don’t you think?” I teased, though I couldn’t help the way my chest lifted at her words. She smiled wider, but only for a second, then leaned in and kissed me, slow and certain, but still soft, still tender.
Pulling back just enough to meet my eyes, she continued. “My point is, missing your partner when they are gone is the sign of a good relationship. It’s okay to miss me. And sure, maybe you’re a little codependent, but you’ve been through some shit and we’re working through it. Besides, I kind of like that about you.”
“You know, we could have a little fun before you have to leave.” My hands escaped the comforter and explored her body, soft touches lingering on her skin. The eventually found her ass, stopping their ascent as they cupped her cheeks.
I could tell from her expression that she considered it; the way her lips were held slightly open and her eyes half-lidded, like she was already picturing it. Her breath hitched just enough to give her away, and I felt her shift slightly in my lap – closer, warmer.
Then her smile returned, and the moment was over. She kissed me one more time before wiggling out of my grip and getting off the bed. “Tempting, but no. I’d miss my flight if we started something.”
“I won’t complain.”
“You won’t, but my coworkers and the people who paid for my flight will.” She moved to the closet and pulled out the outfit she had set aside last night – an unassuming pair of slacks and a cardigan.
I could only watch as she slipped on her bra, buckling the front in a slow enough fashion that had to be an intentional tease. Spinning it around her torso, the cardigan slipped on over it, hiding her chest from me completely. I groaned softly and flopped back onto the pillows.
“You’re cruel,” I muttered.
“I’m practical,” she said, grabbing a pair of black panties. “This is cruel.”
Legs played, I held my breath as she used two fingers to spread open her labia. Inside, I could see glistening wetness, arousal practically leaking out of her.
My breathing became hot and heavy, my heart pounding as I watched, transfixed from the bed. I wanted desperately to burst from the covers and bury my face between her legs. To inhale her scent and lick her clean. I knew I couldn’t, though. I knew she would stop me, so I could only watch and do my best to burn the image into my mind.
“What about that is cruel?” I asked. “The fact that I did that to you, or the fact that you’re teasing me with it.”
“The fact that I’ll have to sit on an airplane for three hours like this.” Her panties slipped over her legs, blocking the view from me.
“Again, we could do something about that. Make the flight a little more comfortable.”
Kat glanced over her shoulder as she stepped into her pants, her smirk unmistakable. “You think getting me even more worked up is going to help? You’re dangerous when you’re like this.”
“Like what?”
“Horny and desperate,” she said, putting on her pants. “And maybe a little persuasive. Which is exactly why I’m getting dressed as fast as I can,” she added, slipping on her belt. “Before you convince me to ruin my entire day.”
“You say that like it wouldn’t be worth it,” I said, still sprawled across the bed, sheet half-forgotten at my waist.
Kat chuckled and turned to grab her shoes. “Oh, it would be worth it. That’s the problem.”
She sat at the edge of the bed to put them on, and I took the opportunity to reach out, fingers grazing the small of her back. She tensed – just a little – but didn’t move away.
“You really have to go?” I asked, voice softer now, the playful edge giving way to something more real. It was still fun; Kat was still here. But I knew very soon it would leave along with her.
She paused, then turned her head to look at me. “Yeah. I do.” Her tone was gentle but firm. “But I’ll be back. Thursday afternoon, I am all yours.”
“Is that a promise?”
She Casibom hakkında stood again, fully dressed now, and leaned down to kiss me – not rushed, not teasing, just a kiss that said she didn’t want to go either. When she pulled back, her fingers brushed my cheek. “In the meantime, I left a surprise for you in the bathroom. Just…” She paused, her eyes briefly glancing at the closed door. “Wait until I’m gone to see what it is.”
I wanted to know why she was hesitant almost as much as I wanted to know what the surprise was, but I didn’t push her. It seemed like one of those things she needed to offer on her terms. And the way her eyes lingered on mine, just for a second longer than usual, told me it mattered.
“Keep the bed warm,” she said with a smile, heading for the door. And just like that, she grabbed her suitcase and slipped out the door, leaving behind the smell of rosemary and the quietness I had come to dread.
I waited until I heard the soft click of the front door, then a beat longer just in case Kat realized she forgot her charger or her phone or something else that would bring her back through the doorway for just a few more seconds. But the silence held.
Any other day, I would’ve crawled back under the covers and let sleep take me – my usual defense against missing her. Sleep dulled the hours, softened the edges, and made the waiting feel less drawn-out. But today was different. Today, Kat’s surprise sat in the forefront of my mind, persistent and loud. It wasn’t just curiosity. It was the way she’d looked at me when she mentioned it, the unspoken weight in her voice.
The fact that she made me wait until she left to see it only added to my curiosity. There had to be a reason, but what, I couldn’t be sure. Embarrassment, maybe, or fear that I wouldn’t like it. Although that hardly felt like Kat. Truthfully, surprises hardly felt like Kat. Not to say she didn’t like romantic gestures. She was just the type who preferred control, who liked things planned and predictable. She didn’t do spontaneity for the sake of it – she did it with careful thought and intention.
For her to leave something unknown, something that required trust on both sides, meant this wasn’t just a whim. It was something she had thought about. Maybe worried over. Maybe replayed in her head a few times before leaving whatever it was in the bathroom. Or maybe I was overthinking it. Besides, that sounded more like me than her.
I sat up, the sheet slipping down to my waist, and glanced at the bathroom door like it might somehow explain itself. Her “surprise” waited behind it, and I wasn’t sure if I should be excited or nervous – or both. Eventually, curiosity won out.
Still heavy with sleep, I slid out from under the covers, the chill of the room wrapping around me. My feet met the cold vinyl floor with a jolt that chased away the last traces of warmth. How Kat had stood in here, naked as I currently was, and having just come out of a shower, was beyond me. Shivering, I padded across the room and closed the window first, sealing the morning air outside. One benefit of her being gone was control of the windows.
The light was still on in the bathroom when I finally got the gall to go inside. The room was heavy with humidity, and the mirror was still fogged up – remnants of Kat’s shower. At first, nothing caught my eye. No trail of rose pedals, no big box wrapped and waiting for me. Finally, I spotted the folded piece of paper on the lid of the toilet – an odd place for it to be, especially considering it didn’t exactly stand out on the white plastic.
As I reached for it, my heart did a small, strange flutter. My anxiety started to get the better of me as I considered what it might say.
What if this was Kat’s way of breaking up with me?
The thought came suddenly and hit harder than I expected. It had nothing to do with logic. She wouldn’t do that, I told myself. Not like this. Not after everything she’d just said, not after the way she held me, the way she kissed me goodbye.
But my fears rarely seemed to listen to reason.
My fingers hovered for a second longer before I finally picked up the folded paper, warm from the bathroom’s steam. It was thicker than a standard sticky note, the edges crisp, the fold clean – intentional.
I unfolded it with slow, deliberate care. The handwriting was hers: neat, steady, a little slanted, the loops on her y’s just slightly exaggerated.
My heart felt like it skipped a beat.
Hey baby,
I know I keep leaving for work, and I hate leaving you alone, even for a few days. You’ve been so patient with my stupid scheduling, and I want you to know how much that means. I promise, things will slow down soon.
Anyway, here it is, the version where I don’t stumble over my words or overthink every syllable.
The truth is… I love you.
I think I’ve known it for a while, but I kept getting in my own head. Telling myself it was too soon. That I’d ruin it if I said too much. That maybe you didn’t feel the same. Stupid, I know, but you can probably relate.
The other reason I wanted to write this was because of last night. You seemed so happy after RAE, and I know I told you I’m not really into all this, but I do care about you, and I want to see you be happy like that every day.
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